What's going on, Albuquerque?

What's Up With Tanoan?

Good morning, Albuquerque.

Say, I was just wondering: what's up with that place Tanoan?

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Permalink Reply by Benny the Icepick on June 28, 2010 at 10:10am

That's a pretty open ended question. Did it catch fire or something?

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Permalink Reply by Rich Boucher on June 28, 2010 at 10:13am

No, no fire. I was just driving by it when someone explained that big wall around it to me.
And I didn't quite follow that. Why is there a big wall around it? What goes on in there?

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Permalink Reply by Benny the Icepick on June 28, 2010 at 10:34am

"Gated Golf Course Community" is actually code word for "Swingers Capitol of the World." Check your clothes at the door with your inhibitions. There are massive debaucherous parties three nights a week, where the alcohol and drugs flow like so many bodily fluids. "Tanoan" actually comes from a Tewa legend similar to Sodom and Gomorra. Every full moon they sacrifice a small child to sate the bloodlust of their patron goddess, Xertclkazzzhirxzki. Few who trespass make it out alive.

...or maybe it's just a gated community with a golf course in the middle of it.

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Permalink Reply by Rich Boucher on June 28, 2010 at 10:38am

I think it might be the latter, but apparently I can't even find out.
I'm not trying to be mean to them on here, I am just trying to understand
what is going on over there.

Like, what would happen if I put a big wall around my apartment?

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Permalink Reply by Benny the Icepick on June 28, 2010 at 10:45am

//Like, what would happen if I put a big wall around my apartment?//
Well, your landlord might get a bit pissed off. But if it's your property, you're welcome to do as you please. Plenty of homes in ABQ have walls around their yard:

If, as a developer, you want to wall off your development and charge the residents for security, upkeep, and operating a golf course, you're free to do so. If the housing market supports it - and apparently it has - you sell homes.

It's not the way I'd want to live, but I'm not about to stop someone else from doing it.

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Permalink Reply by Rich Boucher on June 28, 2010 at 10:48am

Sometimes it (the Tanoan) makes me think of those old, big-telephone, everyone smokes, black and white, science fiction alien films.

I mean, maybe it's okay that they (the Tanoan) do that, but it still makes me wonder....

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Permalink Reply by Benny the Icepick on June 28, 2010 at 10:47am

Also, what do you mean you "can't even find out"?

Google is your friend. It will tell you all you need to know about the development and the golf course.

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Permalink Reply by Barelas Babe on June 28, 2010 at 12:19pm

"Tanoan" actually comes from a Tewa legend similar to Sodom and Gomorra. Every full moon they sacrifice a small child to sate the bloodlust of their patron goddess, Xertclkazzzhirxzki. Few who trespass make it out alive.

Maybe it is because I share my home with family members of American Indian heritage; maybe it is because I spend a lot of time in and around minority language communities, but I just don't find this attempt at humor funny. It seems to cross a line between satire/harmful stereotype, and I can't help but wonder how my daughter would feel...

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Permalink Reply by Benny the Icepick on June 28, 2010 at 12:58pm

Fair enough; I apologize if I offended. I was trying to cram as many cultures' horror stories into one excessively bizarre narrative - Incan, Norse, Judean, African, etc. - but looking at it again it does appear to single out only one.

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Permalink Reply by Barelas Babe on June 28, 2010 at 1:10pm

Thanks, Benny. I appreciate it.

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Permalink Reply by RiderJohn on July 5, 2010 at 10:33pm

Benny, I think it was clever and never even sensed a smidgen of rudeness (or crudeness). I thought of South Park's reference to the classic American short story The Lottery, in the episode "Brittany's New Look (Brittany Spears)." IMHO, your humor was spot on (and a lot less crude/rude than a South Park episode could be). Don't refrain from "attempting" more humor in the future. Our world needs more laughing, not less. Still, it was classy of you to apologize anyway.

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Permalink Reply by Rich Boucher on June 28, 2010 at 10:22am

See, my friend mentioned golf to me in our discussion of what could possibly be going on in there; I still came away a bit non-nonplussed, disheveled and confused. I don't understand how people can "live at a golf course". Is that like how people will make a "tent city" to protest an economic hard time? Is "Tanoan" its own city, inside of Albuquerque?