11/20/10 National Transgender Day of Remembrance


Not far from where I live, in the last few years, at least three women have been brutally murdered because they were transgender...and Albuquerque is generally a remarkably tolerant place. It's staggering to ponder how me being me could somehow be threatening to some people. I'm outraged by this, being thrust into personal conflict. I try to grasp and honor the deep gender insecurity someone would have to feel for them to hurt someone who was gender variant, and at the same time part of me wants to strike back forcefully or at least stand guard to protect the brave ones who have made the hard choice of expressing their true selves openly.

For most of my life I've been silent about my gender issues, yet that silence does empower the assholes. I still feel I must use great discretion, mainly because I know going full tilt would cost me more than I'm willing to lose financially and I believe I'd lose some of my most precious relationships. That said, I have no reservations whatsoever about being an advocate / protector of gender variant folks. "Rising tides raises all boats" (FDR) As I empower others to be their deepest selves, I open doors for myself that I perceive to be closed.

Views: 23

Comment by Chroma Studios on November 20, 2010 at 3:04pm
I hope that someday intolerance will be a thing of the past. I believe that we should all be "me", our true selves, happiness comes from within! Good for you, Kelly, posting this blog is a great way to open those closed doors. Cheers to you!

Paula :)
Comment by bg on November 21, 2010 at 9:27am
Thanks for posting, Kelly. I have so much respect for the courage it takes to come to terms with such personal matters. That our society cannot accept and love this courage and the people who wear it is really beyond me.

I don't know what it will take, but I hope we are moving towards a better place in our culture. The violence and hatred cannot stand, but lots of people are hurt (and killed) in the mean time.
Comment by Barelas Babe on November 21, 2010 at 3:05pm
I'm glad you posted this, Kelly. It is such an important topic and one that is easy for many of us to overlook - especially if we do not know people who live with these gender issues, or just as importantly, are not aware of people already central in our lives who live the complexity of gender issues. Days of remembrance help keep awareness of this in the forefront.

I agree with Chroma and bg - the courage it takes for one to be one's true self is tremendous. How else can people be allies and advocates of gender variant folks? Do you have any concrete suggestions, e.g. work place policies, ways for parents to dialogue about these issues with their children?
Comment by Kelly Vickers on November 21, 2010 at 4:32pm
Barales Babe, as bullying has been in the news a lot lately, I believe the best thing we can discuss with our children are the differences that they present in who they are, whatever those differences may be, in comparison with the other students they encounter. Once they recognize and honor the differences that they are blessed with, the Golden Rule fits in very nicely. They should be encouraged to give the respect to others that they hope for themselves. I realize they will not always receive back the grace they give, yet it's all we really have...to change the world one child at a time.
Comment by Barelas Babe on November 21, 2010 at 8:03pm
Kelly - Such a beautiful, thoughtful, touching reply. Thank you.
Comment by Kelly Vickers on November 22, 2010 at 5:03pm
Thank you Kim.
Comment by cc on November 24, 2010 at 12:48pm
"... silence empowers the assholes." Kelly - right on for posting this. Duke City Fix helps keep issues being discussed, for sure. We need to be reminded about this utmost injustice - murder - on persons who are transgendered. Albuquerque should be a safer place. Was not aware of more murders - so sorry to hear it.
Comment by cc on November 24, 2010 at 12:54pm
http://www.tri-ess.org/tglaws.htm
an interesting page from an interesting support organization, Tri-Ess.
It is a map of the states that prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Before you look, guess how many states have this protective legislation? and whether NM is one of them?

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