No, I'm not talking about the holidays, the post-Thanksgiving frenzied rush to delve into the commercialization of the season; the road rage, the Santa Clauses, the trees or the gifts.
I'm not even talking about the cold weather.
The first indication came, when my 9 year old child (we shall call him "Evil Genius" for the purposes of this blog post) came sliding into the office a few weeks ago. Evil Genius is sometimes lazy, and will often shuffle his feet over our very thick carpet when he walks. I didn't think anything of it until, looking out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Evil Genius was standing behind Natalie's chair. He had his trademarked evil grin/smirk and one little index finger raised and aimed at her neck. I shot him the "Don't Even Think About It" stare, and he continued grinning and moving in almost slow motion. I leaped out of my chair and touched his forehead, zapping us both. He tsk'ed at me, shuffled his feet some more and marched away.
Yeah, it's all fun and games until you grow up... I know. I played these games myself when I was a kid.
I am talking about that bzzz-pop of static electricity. Where it's so dry, that anything you touch in your house that can possibly conduct electricity will zap you silly. I've been zapped by the houseplants, the dogs, the cat, running water, my computer speaker controls, the metal horizontal blinds, light switches, cell phone charger cords, my own hair and more.
It's gotten so bad here lately, that I'm ready to duct tape dryer sheets to the soles of my feet (and everyone else's) in order to have at least a little bit of protection, or if nothing else, start a new and reasonable fashion trend.
So it goes without saying.
Very very dry.
It's so dry that I'll do anything for relief... Kind of.
Anyone have any ideas?