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Martini Mike's Shop N Stroll Report

Aaahhh... the long awaited Shop N Stroll. Well… it was, as you might expect, a booze drenched shopping adventure. You may have seen me lurking about with my Sony Handycam & my well loosened tie. Well loosened everything. Ouch, my head.

Team Martini rendezvoused at my den for a kickoff drink. Our DD piled 5 or 6 of us into the hay cart & off we went. By this time it was 6:00 & I already knew parking was going to be scary. So, we burned a few calories walking many blocks to Nob Hill. With team piper ____ (removed at his request) in tow we headed to Two Fool’s Tavern. We had a table waiting in the corner next to the Heinrichs. Nice people.

So back to the Piper ____ (please insert name or word here). (Yes, there used to be his pic here, used by permission, but he has now buckled under pressure by the Shitty Irish Pub Coalition. See below)

It was his (unnamed) bagpipe group leader’s (name omitted) 21^st ^{birthday. She planned this debut with the bar to coincide with Shop N Stroll & her birthday.}

^{And why we all most of my entourage & assorted associates hate 2 F!@#$’s Tavern now reason #1= they will only serve you one drink on your 21st birthday. Period. ?! Unbeknownst to her or any of us of course until that moment. Why? Is that not the legal drinking age? Damnedest thing I ever heard. Almost.}

^{Reason #2= "We don’t serve shots here sir". ?! Well then give me a bottle! What is that all about? I have never heard of such a thing. Are we still in the United States? Is this a bar? They refused to answer. I had to swear, not once but twice, that I would "sip" the "cup" of whisky or I would be removed. Remove this. This was the beginning of the evening, our first stop, and I was just flabbergasted by this. Break out the stack of bibles.}

^{Reason #3= they cut off my brother after 2 beers! And I said to the same rude bartendress "he only had 1 or 2 beers! You served them to him!". I swear to God her exact words were "he’s too giddy. He’s having too much fun." With a huff & a SHOT we prepared to be tossed. There was applause & the shouts of "Shotter! Shotter! We have a shotter here! Throw him out!" Seriously. It was pretty funny. We then took our money to the street for a pic of middle fingers flying at their sign. It may have only been a coincidence that the pipers left with us?}

^{I shouldn’t be so harsh… this was only like the 10th time they have been rude here & we swore we would never go back. Maybe I don't look Irish enough.}

^{Well now we will get back on the fun track. Bands, jugglers, fire… you name it on the street. And all the interesting people, such as the stranger in the sombrero, to be seen. We visited several favorite shops such as Que Chula & Masks Y Mas. Pit stop at our faithful old haunt Monte Vista Fire Station.}

^{Yannis was too packed to deal with. Take some more pics, lots of video, search for munchies. Eventually it is 10 PM & we have ended up at the Gecko’s end of the action. We say hi to Wally, Erica, some patrons & grab a nightcap. We gather more troops such as Jen Martin from Xynergy, Inc. who we wish had dragged Sophie Martin with her from the previous location. Our friend Damon the web developer/cyclist is here, which was funny after my annoying banter with certain cyclists on a certain website earlier in the day. The pipes come out again & we cheer ____ on as we throw money at him. (That he can go spend at 2 Fools) Britney Spears was there.}

^{Prince Von Anhalt was heard to comment "it's all fun & games until somebody loses an eye". We think that may be our piper. We know how to have fun!}

^{What a great night. Wait. There’s more? A caravan of cars & bicycles head up Ridgecrest for the after hours party at Martini Mike’s! Woohoo! You call it Damon. Tyrconnell, single malt Irish whisky. Straight from my top shelf. Something they never had at Two F@#s Tavern. And you sip this. I seem to recall cigars & a couchload of sleepy women as the men discussed the Iowa Caucus for an hour. Sex Pistols, Black Flag, and The Ramones are playing on the stereo and our world is at peace once again… cyclists & all.}

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Comment by SoyJames on December 7, 2007 at 2:00pm: Heh heh... that WAS a good time. And don't forget about that 100 bucks I lent you.

Comment by Michael P. "Martini Mike" D'Arco on December 7, 2007 at 2:06pm: That wasn't a loan. That was protection money.

Comment by Ariya on December 7, 2007 at 2:10pm: Sounds like it was a good time. I wish I could have been there. They are having a wine festival down here tomorrow night. I may go, but it will be by myself. That sucks!

Comment by freekbuoy on December 7, 2007 at 10:59pm: The only reason I went to the Shop 'n' Stroll was to drink. First to the Zinc cellar bar, where I and my two compadres were ignored at the bar (which appeared relatively calm) for ten minutes before I finally was able to order my Jameson. A short jaunt up Central with a little lollygagging on the way I and found myself at Gecko's for the night. It was quite enjoyable.

Comment by Jessie on December 8, 2007 at 1:17pm: Wow. The only problem I've ever had at Two Fools is the typical Burque sub-par service. Sounds to me like the atmosphere disappoints ya'll because it's not a flippin' frat bar. If you wanna get tanked and loud, I'm glad you're not gonna be doing it at Two Fools -- 'twill make my next visit that much nicer.

Comment by Sally on December 8, 2007 at 4:01pm: it was an EVENT night. they close the street. there's fire jugglers, bagpipers, a donkey. everything was crowded and loud. to assume someone who attended the shop n' stroll is typically looking to get tanked and loud (since you're glad they won't be at 2Fools on your next visit) is nuts.

Comment by Michael P. "Martini Mike" D'Arco on December 8, 2007 at 4:14pm: This is not a direct attack on anyone or anything related to previous comments. Just additional info. Personally I'm 42 & am not looking for a frat party. We were tagging along with the pre-arranged bagpipe folks... there for this special event. They treated them no better.
I almost thought "shots" was them just being nitpicky on semantics until I had to swear repeatedly I wouldn't "down it like a shot" no matter the quantity or type of vessel it was served in. And honestly, I rarely do a shot like that anyway. BUT, since they poked the sleeping bear. That's like saying you will throw me out of the buffet if I eat too fast. Who are they to dictate how fast or the manner, period, in which I eat or drink?!

Comment by magoo on December 9, 2007 at 5:34am: remember, mikey, we'll be timing you, and it must take a minimum of 4 minutes for you to daintily sip this small vessel of Jameson's, or you're outta here!!!!!

Comment by Jessie on December 9, 2007 at 12:03pm: Sally, dear, I'm going only on the basis of what Mike wrote. He described shouting & such, and I drew what I thought were appropriate conclusions. Having seen one of my favorite haunts go the way of shouting, applauding, "booze drenched" (to use Mike's descriptors) patrons, where once it was a quiet neighborhood bar, I find it a little silly when other folks get huffy over being treated like loud drunkards when they're being, well, loud drunkards.

That being said, I've been a loud drunkard myself once upon a time, and so maybe I'm just reaping my karmic rewards as I get old & crotchety.

Tho' it is ridiculous that they'll only serve one beverage to the newly of-age. Maybe they got slapped for some hefty violations recently?

Comment by Diluted on December 9, 2007 at 12:17pm: Don't blame Two Fools for the rules they put in place to protect their servers from lawsuits and prosecution by our overzealous alcohol lawmakers. The owners of the Two Fools are very concerned with the safety of their customers as well as their staff, and I've seen firsthand what the 'frat bar' atmosphere can create. Personally, I have never had a bad experience in Two Fools other than occasionally waiting longer than I thought I should for something I ordered. Their focus is on being a good place to get food, as well as a drink to go along with it, not a place to get hammered and stagger home.

I do agree though, one drink on your 21st is lame.