What's going on, Albuquerque?

enjoy your chile, and the haunting vista of the volcanoes

It's a rainy British evening, and I can't find a roommate who's eaten a burrito. This year, I'm studying abroad in Wales with UNM as my launch pad. I know it's good for me to be in a place where I can say "chinga tu madre" and get a blank look instead of a "puta!" and a punch, but right now I have no idea why. The sea rolls in limp and gray, and everything seems small, dull, and spineless. I dream of green chile.
My current Arabic boytoy looks Mexican, but thinks "pendejo" is really a term of endearment. He is a little pendejo, anyway.
I go to the "Mexican" restaurant, ask for the paella, and the confused eye-lash-less Welsh woman pauses. "Um, number 9 then, it was?" she asks after a minute.
"Ten," I sigh. Poor thing. It's not her fault she's never experienced New Mexico.
You lucky people under your vault of dry blue heaven are now tired of my whining about Albuquerque. However, so are my flatmates who cannot for the life of them understand why I'm so longing for a purple lowrider to drive by my window blasting Spanish rap. They also don't understand how I can get so pornographic in my descriptions of a bean-and-cheese burrito from Frontier, or cheese enchiladas with green chile from Little Anita's.
So go out, stuff yourselves with green chile under the sunlight, and take a minute to think of the starving children in Africa and this whiny Albuquerquena in the UK who has eight months to go before she can again see the Sandia mountains turn pink with the sunset.

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Comment by Adelita on December 10, 2007 at 7:39pm: You know when I lived in San Francisco it was kind of a lonely time for me. One of the greatest cities in this country and all I could think of was getting home. I never could get used to those gray days.

When I would get those care packages from my mom with bags of chile from Chimayo and a pound each of carne seca and pinon, life was good. I tried to be San Francisco cool but I just wasn't. I'm North Valley 'Burque through and through. Enjoy your stay in the UK - you'll always remember it fondly. But relish the absolute fabulousness of 'Burque when you get home.

Comment by TRJ on December 10, 2007 at 9:25pm: Maybe you should join a futbol firm. Busting some heads can really chase those blues away.

Comment by chantal on December 10, 2007 at 9:27pm: What nobody with spicy commentary on the "arabic boytoy"?

Comment by davis on December 11, 2007 at 12:26am: Chantal, I'll take that challenge. Ok, "arabic" is a language, or of or relating to the language or literature of the Arab people. A person from Saudi Arabia could be either Saudi or Saudi Arabian, or Arabian, though that is usually reserved for horses.

If the boytoy speaks Arabic but is not from Saudi Arabia, he is also not "arabic". That's just objectifying the dude! But that was clear with the "boytoy" label. I hope this isn't some creepy example of American objectification of "other", esp of those weird and wacky middle eastern types. Or maybe its just another example of a honky fetishizing another style brown brother?

Maybe you just mean to be cute? Cause, calling a guy "asshole" right to his face & thinking its cute that he doesn't get it (yet) isn't really all that cute. Damn, its just downright nasty and mean, come to think of it.

Way to fight that Ugly American image problem we've got in the World. We appreciate your work on our behalf.

You just keep making the best of your time abroad & racking up snarky jokes at other peoples expense, and you'll have global penpals for life.

Comment by bleve on December 11, 2007 at 12:12pm: Give the girl a break. I've dated a bunch of crazy white girls... and hope I wouldn't get in trouble for saying so.

Comment by bleve on December 11, 2007 at 12:13pm: You do have an astute analysis though.

Comment by bleve on December 11, 2007 at 12:18pm: Its my firm belief that only a well traveled person can truly appreciate New Mexico. People would always tell me that I talked about NM too much when I lived in other places.

Comment by Rodrigues on December 11, 2007 at 2:52pm: Wow, take it easy davis... or read a few books so you can recognize writerly conventions and sarcasm.

Its definitely human nature to pine for the place you call home- I have just moved here and have really taken to Albuquerque in my heart, but I miss Florida... I miss humidity, great Cuban sandwiches, knowing the ocean is never more than an hour away, and most of all the specific species of trees growing there (and more more more.)

Like bleve just said, I drive people crazy trying to tell them about Florida. And, before I moved to NM, I would never have understood how good NM food is or how unique the culture is.

Comment by Diego on December 11, 2007 at 4:33pm: Rhe first time i went to NYC I was there for about three weeks and I was craving salsa so bad I thought I was going crazy( it must be those boxed winds) when I finally went to restaurant that served salsa and chips it just wasn't the same. A good friend of mine just came back from Shanghai and he is eating New Mexican food daily and in large quantities... He just can't believe how muched he missed it. My mom sends my brother care packages to NYC but I guess that is not practical for Bloody ol' England... and about the boy toy who wouldn't want one???? especially any shade of brown!!!!!!

Comment by davis on December 11, 2007 at 4:51pm: I'm not talking about pining for home. I've done plenty of that for this place, no doubt. LOL, while going to school in France I attempted to make corn tortillas in my little one room apt, not successfully, and so ate seriously bad package "mexican" food. I ate harissa whenever I could just because it was hot. I also became aware that I knew the lyrics to every patriotic American song ever written much to my own (and others, I'm sure) disturbance. Anyway, I'm not talking about that, but about the "arabic boytoy" part. Oh, and the "pendejo" part. maybe also "chinga tu madre". You don't have to tell me I take it too seriously. I know.

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