So today was the perfect example of why I hate some of the people I work with, I am sure outside of work, they may be decent humans, but inside the confines of the PD, they turn into complete and utter assholes. There is one guy especially, when he gets to work, something must just snap inside him, and he turns into Robo Cop Asshole. He is mean to everyone, turns everything into an arguement, and is basically, the most annoying person on the planet. He wears a fanny pack, which makes it even worse. Who wears a fanny pack when not on vacation, even on vaction, it' s not a good idea for a grown man to wear a fanny pack. To make things worse, he is going to marry the female version of Robo Cop Asshole, she doesn't wear a fanny pack, but might as well. I bet the kid will have hoofs and carry a pitchfork, if they can find a fanny pack big enough for him. Do these people ever get fired or get into trouble, no, why not? Because they say things like, I have a lawyer, or I deserve this because I take 4 days off but come into work one day a week to see who I can make miserable or complain about how mistreated I am by everyone around me. These people are also the assholes who have the nerve to ask you to go out for drinks later in the day to probe you for information they can use against you the next time they decide to come into work. Demon and Succubus should be happy with Demon Spawn, and the best part is, hopefully they take some time off and we won't have to deal with the constant nagging or bullshit lawsuits they bring upon everyone around them. I realize the irony of posting a blog about assholes who complain, but guess what, you spend a week with these two and tell me you that writing a blog a hand select of people will read is the worst thing you want to do to them. I know it, they know, and now you know it, they suck and deserve to be miserable together raising 4 kids that hate them.
Then you have the workers that know they are completely worthless but know they won't be fired, so they make drama and act like assholes because they know they can't get fired. These people could be replaced with monkeys in diapers and not be missed, but in order to make themselves more important, they argue with people, they "misplace" paperwork, and they say something will take a few days to do, then it takes a few weeks, a few weeks turn into a few months, and so on and so on. Instead of getting fired, they get raises and days off. The nice thing about these people is that eventually they are in fact replaced by the monkeys in diapers, but instead of getting money they just want bananas. These people are easy to spot because they have bullshit titles like "Administrative Assistant" or "Fiscal Tech", hey guess what, it's a fancy way of saying Secretary and a person we hired cause we couldn't afford a real accountant. Guess what, eventually you get replaced by the Accountant and the Administrative Assistant gets replaced by a day planner. There is also, Hey I shouldn't have a job guy because there is already one to many people with my job title, AKA, THE FLANNEL PAPA SMURF. I have spent months trying to get away from this, only to find out, I may have a new boss, but this guy still controls what I can and can not buy, thanks. Again, you are just sitting around hoping this person retires soon. I hate these three more than I hate Demon and Succubus cause at least Demon and Succubus eventually move on, but the others stick around until they retire, and guess what that means, about 60k a year in wasted funds that could be better used to buy, oh I don't know, a stapler, cause at least a stapler will work once in awhile.
There is also, Man I Can't Wait to Find a Better Job person, these ones aren't so bad, and I admit, I am prone to this as well. These people are the ones that work their asses off to try and make things better, but after months and months of dealing with the other types of worthless fucks, get fed up and start to look for other jobs, or stand around wondering, what the fuck am I doing with my life.....I need to pay bills is usually the only thing that stops this person from stabbing the Succubus in that black small thing she calls a heart with a fucking wooden stake. But you still have to listen to this person vent every once in awhile about how much it sucks to come to work and be one of 5 people that actually work.
In conclusion, I hope all you worthless fucks out there who fall into Demon and Succubus, Administrative Assistant, Fincial Tech, and FLANNEL PAPA SMURF, either kill each other, retire, or finally win your lawsuit so you can get the hell out of here so I can get some money to fix our busted ass network. If you are reading this and realize, hey, I know who this guy is talking about, congratulations, you have found a mirrior.