Two months ago I told my husband "I don't care where we go just get me the heck out of here"...
Although the Florida Keys seemed like a tropical paradise, it was really more of a looks-good-on-paper kind of place. Although I was in love with the water and the fish, and the idyllic island life; my 8-5 involved being a bureaucrat in the worst possible way. Learning sustainable development in an island setting was different in person where it actually meant driving every potential developer to bankruptcy -inadvertently.
It wasn't until a week before we had scheduled to caravan across the country that we learned that New Mexico was called the "Land of Enchantment" and it was certainly suiting.
We were enchanted, unaware of why we were moving -other than to escape our current despair.
Today I feel strange inertia -opposing forces resulting in static motionless. It may be that I want to do so much I feel paralyzed or intimidated. So today I fasted until the hunger withered away and the lightheadedness faded away, and the headache faded away.
I fasted and I slept -gave into what I would otherwise consider despair. I did it for clarity. And now I see that I can take my time and appreciate the subtle nuances of my new New Mexico home.