It’s wedding season – dresses are being altered, flowers are being ordered, and bands are being booked. Some old traditions will be observed and some new traditions will be started. I was married for eight years and much like my marriage, my non-traditional wedding was short and sweet. If I ever do it again, it will be entirely different.

So many of the weddings I’ve been to lately are very hip affairs with trendy color schemes, the who’s who of guests, and extremely tasteful, well, everything. As I get a satiny and swirly script invitation to another “wedding of the year” - I wonder, where’s the soul? Where’s the fun?

Damn it, where’s the baby blue tuxedo with ruffles?

Here are some things that must occur should ever I take the plunge again:

1. La Marcha - Is there anything cooler than going to a wedding reception at a VFW Post and watching the unfolding of La Marcha? La Marcha is a wedding march danced by couples who separate into lines, circle around and come back together in a kind of tunnel made by raising and holding hands for the newlyweds to pass through. How did all those bridesmaids with their huge pastel dresses maneuver under the arms of the guests in the marcha line?

2. The Dollar Dance or Pin the Money on the Bride - Maybe inflation has taken it's toll, but it’s been far too long since I’ve seen someone pay a dollar to dance with the bride. As big as my family is, I could’ve really cashed in! I remember as a little girl seeing what I thought was hundreds of dollar bills pinned to a bride until it looked like her dress was green.

3. Decorated Car - Where are all the cars with tissue paper flowers and streamers honking all the way to the church or reception? I loved making those flowers and it was a real art spacing them exactly right on the car and having it look beautiful.

4. Kidnapping the Bride - Do families’ still kidnap brides from their grooms? I found the sweetest story from the Albuquerque Tribune about kidnapping the bride. Get me a wheelbarrow and an old blanket and I’ll be ready to go.

5. Real Food – I once saw mashed potatoes dyed to match the colors of the bridesmaid’s dresses – an array of pastel blues and greens. Now that’s classy! Can chicharrones be dyed to match too?

6. Bad-ass band – That’s right, nothing less than the Godfather of New Mexican music – Al Hurricane!

7. A fight! – What good New Mexican wedding doesn’t have a fight between family members? Note to self: make sure there’s plenty of ice packs…and tequila!

So getting married again is not exactly a high priority on my list of things to do. I’ve done it once and it was good while it lasted. Now that I’ve come up with this list, what should I do with it? I think I’ll save these fabulous ideas for my daughter. I know she’ll be happy that her future wedding is already planned!

(This is a picture of me at about 5 years of age. My Auntie Mary made wedding dresses for me and my cousin to play 'dress-up' in.)

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Comment by misterhinkydink on March 26, 2008 at 10:03am
Just a fight? I thought it wasn't a good wedding unless someone pulled out a gun. ;-) The last wedding I went to we did 'La Marcha' and the 'Money Dance'.
Comment by Sí Serrano on March 26, 2008 at 10:46am
Love, love. love La Marcha! But you have to find someone who knows what they are doing and then it is beautiful otherwise it can become a crazy mess (but still fun). And I remember a favorite aunt or uncle getting up and singing funny 'versos'(?) for/about the newlyweds.
Comment by Jessie on March 26, 2008 at 11:13am
At one of the last weddings I went to, we rode the bride around the house in a washtub and the groom on a fence rail. What can I say... we're hillbillies.
Comment by Diego on March 26, 2008 at 11:46am
Well the last "crazy wedding" I was at was my brother Carlos... The rehearsal dinner was so out of control, we almost all missed the wedding the next day. My other brother was taking pictures of everybody at their worse! The catereer was drunk and making out with the wedding party boys and girls alike and when she walked in to the church the next day the whole congregation gasped. I ,thow they were thinking SCANDALOSA!!!!!
Comment by Seraphim on March 26, 2008 at 12:04pm
lol, love the list...you brought back some memories of me being the nieghbor...of course we were invited...the best part was when all the adults were parting it up... it allowed us lil ones to get mischeivous and run around up stair at the VFW and steal some lil red flower things that were used on the parade floats and passed out....what ever happen to those days?
Comment by JR Ramirez on March 26, 2008 at 12:39pm
Take the plunge huh, that's funny! I bragged about you on my page big sista! :D
Have a great rest of the week. I'm gonna be busier than a one legged man in an a$$ kicking contest.
Comment by Diego on March 26, 2008 at 2:00pm
Oh Adelita... there are so many weddings... I went to a wedding where they couldn't afford to buy back the bride and it was quite embarrassing. They had to lower the randsome because nobody at the wedding had any money...finally the father of the bride gave an extra 50 (I hope he had gas money to go home) and they brought the bride back. My brother was in so many weddings he probably has an extraordinary libray of memories. The last wedding i went ot was very subdued it was for my cousin Tiffany, it was very lavender but the mashed potatos were not dyed to match HAHAHAHA.
Comment by Adelita on March 26, 2008 at 2:06pm
Diego, I knew you'd have great wedding stories. I wish I had been at Carlos' wedding!
Comment by Tricross on March 26, 2008 at 3:51pm
My first marriage didn't go well either but my second is going great. I remember lamenting about my first marriage with my minister when he said something that surprised me, especially coming from a minister. He said, "Practice marriages don't count."
Comment by Rita on March 26, 2008 at 5:24pm
Adelita, you forgot about the couple's first dance. I don't care who's wedding it was the song was always by Santana, Samba Pa Ti I believe was the name--every wedding! And there was always at least one drunk uncle. When my cousin was stolen by her brother he took her to Cliff's and made her get on the rides, wedding dress and vail! Thank goodness for big families!

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