“They call me Dr. Love, I am the doctor of love, I’ve got the cure you’re thinking of.”
– KISS, “Calling Dr. Love"
! No, we’re not talking Penicillin here. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching I felt the obligation to dig deep down into my treasure trove of romantic gestures and share with you. Let’s just say I’ve “been around the block”. (hey, "practice makes perfect"!)You don’t get around the block without certain insights into the magical mystical feel good keys to romance. I’m actually writing a book about it so shut up, sit back and soak it all up.
With the horrific state of the economy not everyone can afford the finer things in life this Valentine’s, such as a bottle of Dom Perignon or a getaway to that fancy lodge.
Well guess what… romance does not mean material things! I will cover a few nice places to stop for a drink or a meal later on. I’ll also cover some inexpensive ways to show your love. But let’s “K.I.S.S.”… “Keep it Simple Stupid”, for now!
Here are a few things that will help your cause on such an auspicious occasion. Trim your toenails. Wax your back. Take out the trash. Get a job!
No offense to those of you who are actually trying. Try being nice, in private and public. Whatever your partner or love interest wants, within reason, should be fair this day. Make a card yourself! There’s nothing like a crayon drawn card with glitter to hook that special someone. Cook dinner! Something elegant and simple? Almost anything will work with a little candlelight. You may not even get to the meal if all goes well, or with properly placed subliminal messages.
Drive to the crest and stare out onto that beautiful New Mexico sunset together. It's chilly, stay close. Cruise Central
like when you were younger. Write a poem! Here’s one you can just fill in the blanks on… “Your eyes are like _____. Your lips like _____. I have been watching you, waiting, for now to _______.” Ha-ha. Watch a “chick flick” on TV… don’t forget the (single) blanket.
OK, so you wanna spend a little scratch do ya’? I was quite excited to hear that The Waffle House would offer white linen and candlelight with reser...
. Unfortunately Albuquerque was not a participating region! A close second would be Taco Tote
, where I have spied Mariachis from the street as I passed by on occasion! They were playing, not eating. Fun! Romantic? Eh. I will miss our tradition of a dark cushy booth in the corner of Martini Grill this year... with a serving of Wolfschmitz disguised as Ketel One
. There are plenty of dark places with great service, drinks, and food around Burque but privacy is a commodity. So, here go my best picks across town with what we have to work with.
1. The lounge at Paul’s Monterey Inn
for a martini at least. Maybe a delicious steak? Rat Pack music, so dark you will bump into something, cushy leather booth or two, great everything. What else could you want but some snuggling?!
2. Cellar Bar at Zinc
. Again, for at least a drink if not some also delicious food. Try a “Red Wall”, I have been dreaming about them as I mentioned to Mixologist/bar God Abraham Juarez in a Facebook chat at midnight earlier this week!
3. Copper Lounge
. True, it is no Jack’s (it’s former self) but it is still dark. There are big cushy booths, great service, reasonably priced drinks, and some delicious if not so fancy food. Maybe show your date how to shoot pool afterwards? Get real close & use some Binaca.
4. I am hesitantly typing the corporate entity known as The Melting Pot
. O.K. They have “Love Martinis”. And Fondue. And it’s pretty dark in the little side rooms. Nothing say’s romance like dipping things in chocolate… or cheese?
5. The lounge at Cervantes
! Muy dark. Fast friendly service. Spicy food for a spicy night. Margaritas that will send you home cuddling in a cab.
Damn. That’s all I’ve got.
Inexpensive romantic gifts you say? Take a trip over to your local lingerie or “other”
store. How about Jubilation
for some Vino or Champagna? (OR maybe just some "Champenoise" or beer!) Their helpful staff will never let you down. How about a kitten from Animal Humane
or Animal Control
? Better yet, an 11 year old Cattle Dog that shits in the house! (email me) Affordable art? Masks Y Mas
, Chroma Studios
, Mariposa Gallery
, and a bevy of other galleries offer prints, vases, photographs, and many things short of a 6’ canvas. Flowers of course are always good. We are lucky enough to be surrounded by many fine flower shops. I personally use People’s on Central by where the runaway bride was found
. I have also shopped at Tartaglia’s
, and Mauldin’s
among others. And last but not least, if it was good enough for the Mayans, chocolate! Visit The Candy Lady
, Chocolate Café and Bakery
, or Theobroma
for all the chocolaty delights you can imagine.
Single people with no prospects? I have some things for you too. There are a few events going on downtown. Check out Sauce and Raw for instance. They are having a "Single to Mingle" Valentine's Party
Let me leave you with things not
to do this Valentine’s Day. No matter how many issues they already have, do not break up with someone this day. You will never forget it and they will possibly suffer a few extra years in therapy. Do not fart, burp, spit, or leave them with the bill unless you’re married. Do not be late because you went to the Strip Club. Do not overbook. Pick one special someone and stick with them. If it doesn’t work out there is no way you can’t meet another lonely sole this night sitting in a corner alone too. Remember there is somebody for everybody.
Do not drunk dial. Do not drunk dial me. Get off that computer and start making plans! Follow these simple tips and it will be smooooth sailing. Cheers!