Heartbreaking Price of Standarized Testing

The student I work with gave me a picture for me yesterday. He had folded it up nicely and put in an envelope, addressing it on the front with my name. I opened it to find a drawing of a boy, tears running down his cheeks. Above it was a string of random letters, crudely drawn. I could make out a few, an "h", an "r", "o", a "y". Phonetically it looked like it spelled "hooray". Most likely he wrote down the few letters he remembers, because unlike many other children his age and younger, he doesn't know the whole alphabet yet.

For this boy, this drawing was a break through. He was expressing to me his sadness over the fact he didn't have my full attention anymore, as I now had to split my time with him and his classmate. This letter came after a fit where he threw the books and papers off his desk out of frustration because he couldn't complete a math page which required him to count up to 30.

It was a breakthrough for this boy because I am probably the first person this year who has showed him patience, that hasn't given up on him. I come back each day despite the fits (which have decreased dramatically) and talk with him about life, his and mine. I take the time to answer his questions, the ones where he doesn't know all the exact words in English, but I can figure out what he is asking. I come back each day and praise his small successes, notice the slow progress he has made over the past two months I have been working with him. I can see he appreciates the high expectations I have on him, simple as writing his name on his paper. He felt comfortable enough to trust me with his feelings.

After spring break, this will all be interrupted by the weeks of state mandated testing. The time that we normally would spend working and learning will be lost as he sits facing a thick booklet of test questions that he doesn't know the answers to and can not read on his own. He will be expected to complete the test at his grade level in a language he hasn't mastered.

I've been carrying the drawing in my pocket as a reminder of the work that is ahead. I carry it because I know it will not be an easy, but I will do it day in and day out because I want to give this boy who is easy to smile, quick to lend a hand, a chance. I carry it also because I am heartbroken knowing I have to accept what progress we make together in the short months left in this school year will have to be enough. Did I mention that this sweet faced boy who can't recite the alphabet song is 4th grader?

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Tags: ESL, NMSBA, boy, children, elementary, language, learners, school, second, testing

Comment by psychomom on March 15, 2009 at 9:17pm
I cheer for his courage to try but dang it, it shouldn't have to be so rough for a little boy and his teacher. Thank you for caring.
Comment by Julie H. on November 7, 2009 at 8:14am
Your blog brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for your dedication to your students. Your blog made me think of my son, granted my son is 5yo, but I didn't know your student was in 4th grade ( even more heart-wrenching) until the end of your story. I chose not to enroll my son in APS because of similiar things. We actually never even started school at APS but because of the beuracracy we ran into. My son, Sean, recieves OT for a sensory processing disorder. It affects him so much that it was recommended we hold him back in Pre-K because he was not emotionally or socially mature enough to handle Kindergarten. Despite the testing performed by APS's "Child-Find" that said he was ready to start Kindergarten. Because of that testing, APS would not allow him to have OT. Not even OT paid for by us. They basically said he doesn't qualify until he fails the testing. So APS would just assume wait for a student to fail academically, knowing there is a treatable problem, before continuing treatment. What a great cost-savings approach, delay therapy, and allow the students to fail, than try to catch up from behind...brilliant.

He is in Pre-K again, doing well...but still with issues, at a private school.

Thank you for your blog, it is so touching, so terribly sad. I feel for both of you. I don't understand, why subject that poor boy to 2 weeks of testing at his grade level when it is obvious he can't. (I thought he was in Kidergarten) They should have a single screening test so all the kids in special ed/foreign languages don't waste 2 whole weeks of school!! That is just insane. What can we do? Is there anything we can do as parents or teachers? I gave up after my first encounter with the beuracracy. I fought it as hard as I could, went all the way to the top to be met with "I don't make the rules". Now there's a professional for you.

Cuddos to you for doing everything you can for this little one, despite the system. It's obvious how much you care. Thank you for caring, nurturing and teaching our little ones.

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