New Mexico is the best place to survive the zombie apocalypse

Survival of the impending zombie apocalypse is almost completely dependent on where you are. Guns and gear are an obvious necessity, but if biters are popping out of a dense forest — good luck turning around and attacking before they take a bite from your shoulder. This is no time for surprises.

If you're going to mount a tactical offense and establish a strong resistance against the undead, you want your geography to be a gymnasium.

via Kayla Sawyer

Number one is the terrain.

With wide, open spaces like the mesa, dense hills and the desert, we'll see those undead bastards coming miles away.

via Kayla Sawyer

Zombies are poor mountain-climbers.

Even if they attempted one of Sandia's gentler trails, at some point during their hike they'd shuffle over the edge and hopefully smash their brains on the way down.

via Sandia National Laboratories

Although it may be ground zero, we can use Sandia and Los Alamos National Labs to quarantine people and find a cure.

We'd fail, of course.

via Kelly Glasscock for The Wall Street Journal

Water would be scarce, but New Mexicans are used to that.

Have we ever not been in a drought?

via Spinello and KRQE

And when it does rain, the stormwater runoff coursing through the arroyos should be strong enough to sweep away any lingering zombies.

via AMC

Unlike those idiots on The Walking Dead — hanging out in Georgia for no good reason — our state has significantly fewer trees and forests for zombies to pop out of.

via Vyonyx Ltd

Swipe a rocket from Spaceport America.

We have the first purpose-built commercial spaceport ready to jettison (some of) us into space. Beyond that I'm not sure what the plan is, but I bet the government has a secret base on Mars.

via Warner Bros.

We already keep our pets inside so they aren't eaten by coyotes and mountain lions — so no worries about your furry friends becoming zombie chow.

Or having to smother them like Will Smith in I Am Legend.

via Kayla Sawyer

New Mexico is a very gun-friendly state.

via globetrottergirls.com

Our cacti are about as weaponized as vegetation can get.

via commons.wikimedia.org

The narrow, stone passages of Kasha-Katuwe Tent Rocks make the perfect zombie trap.

via Kayla Sawyer

Taos' energy-efficient earthships are more than ideal.

Underground. Off-the-grid. Reliant on the sun.

On the outside they look like a spaceship. And the interior? Gorgeous. None of that "roughing it" bullshit, if that's what you were thinking. We're riding out the zombie apocalypse in style.

via Kayla Sawyer

But if you do have to camp out and drink your own filtered urine, you can at least do it in the vestiges of a once-fortified pueblo.

Although any sight will be an improvement to the flaming cars and mutilated bodies we'll be accustomed to, it's nice to know that our ancient pueblo ruins come with a view.

via William Song

Hide in the Gila Cliff Dwellings.

The six caves were undetected for centuries, thanks to the topography of southwestern New Mexico.

via UFOTrax

We've got missile silos and alleged "secret underground facilities" like the Dulce Base.

via Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

The opportunity to make a Wizard of Oz-style exit is too good to pass up.

More folks here own hot-air balloons than you'd think.

via Getty Images

Maybe New Mexican zombies won't eat us without green chile.

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Tags: albuquerque

Comment by RunLikeADog on July 26, 2013 at 7:53am
Not to mention our State's infatuation with allowing Pit Bulls to run free. There are few things in this world that a dog likes more than the smell of rotting flesh.

Today's scorn is tomorrow's salvation. Our propensity for driving while intoxicated could prove beneficial. Just liquor up our all those multi-time offenders, put them behind the wheel of any one of the monstrous trucks and SUVs that crowd our roads and turn 'em loose. They'll mow down those zombies like there's no tomorrow.
Comment by Laura F. Sanchez on July 28, 2013 at 7:09am

At least in New Mexico, zombies (normally) just dry out like carne seca instead of becoming all drippy, oozy and goopy.

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