Running away

I am running today
Running away into that 10 minutes from now
Instead of 10 minutes into yesterday
To start all over again on steady ground
Where it only mattered that I gave a damn

Where I don’t sit and pick through moments in my clouded head
Moments that rose with the sun, which now lay dying in the night
Kissing my now too tired eyes, as I crave sleep and more sleep
While my heart becomes encased in brick just so I can dry my eyes

Feeling the winding down of my heart, as it aches one last time before I lock it away
Saving if for another day, or another person that can hold it and appreciate it for all it is worth
As I move about in painted on canvas of dignity, on display once again, so let me smile for you

Running as fast as I can from the misgivings of trust that I counted on
Looking for the return policy in my hope chest that has in bold
Indian Giver Clause because for one second everything meant something
Before it all became an inconvenience of wrong time, wrong sentiment, wrong life

Was it ever my life or was it
That dream that keeps repeating in my head that has a deeper meaning
Of exactly what my head is shouting, which I refuse to listen to because it all hurts too much
As I shake the sticky web of, could have been, from my finger tips, nearly fooled into believing
Believing that happiness was meant for me, in a hold I felt lasting longer that the goodbyes of yesterday

While I sat there counting the days, the nights, needing real by my side
Instead, holding puffed up smoke of possibilities, now dissipating, gray haze passing in the sky
Accepting only the treasure of friend because it is still worth something in the end
As my ashen heart scatters on breeze, blown from breath that strokes my lips one last time
My eyes watch as it all passes away, into that red sunset spanning across the sky
As I stood above the world, looking down, watching time once again pass me by

Because there is no room for possibilities in this life, my life, today
So there I go, three quarters of the way down the road carrying that stupid hope chest
Looking for the next river over, wanting to drown hope
As I break into a run

Just to get away

©Briana Rose/Crimson Chaos Poetry

Views: 13

Comment by AriesSweet on December 5, 2010 at 10:50am
Wow! This is absolutely amazing! Very heart felt. I can think back to a time in my life where I felt I was "carrying that stupid hope chest".
Comment by Briana Rose Lucero on December 5, 2010 at 3:05pm
Ah yes Aries that hope chest the weight the lift you really never know what you get. I have found hope again that my heart will perhaps in time land where it should. On thi particular writing I could not see the forest through the trees. Such is life though. Thank you so much for reading!!!

Ben where one door closes another opens. May you find those smiles you seek! My pen will always scribe true to me, as I don't put shows on for the sake of reads. Thank you for the time you spent. Hugs to you!
Comment by AriesSweet on December 5, 2010 at 10:12pm
You're welcome! I really enjoyed it. I too have found a new hope that I feel most definitely has placed my heart where it belongs.
Comment by Briana Rose Lucero on December 8, 2010 at 12:51am
LOL Valley Girl, well more so my fathers daughter. Hugs to you Ben!
Aries finding that place always the struggle but once it is found it becomes worth what it took to get there! Hugs!

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