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The Cult of Coronado (the Wiener)

Whether you’re a Burqueño, a Northeast Heightseño or a Nob Hilleño, you know it. I know it. Coronado Wieners are where it’s at…wherever that may be. They’re the bomb…and the packaging looks like one too--like a case of dynamite from a loony western cartoon.

I once debated with myself about smuggling a two-pound, pink package of Coronados with me on a plane. But I feared it would have caused panic with the TSA once the wieners hit the x-ray. I also wonder—can these things cross state lines without FDA approval? I need to get a permit maybe. I've never seen them sold anywhere else.

And I’ve never paid attention to the package until now.

Ingredients: Beef , Pork, Mechanically Separated Chicken, Potassium Lactate, Sodium Diacetate, and Red 40. Whoa. I totally picture some dude in a pair of overalls making these things somewhere in the remote desert like a meth lab.

Red 40. That must be the pink, delicious juice that drips from the package. Sounds disgusting, but whatever…it’s damn good. There’s even a Red 40 website I don’t want to read, ‘cause I just don’t care.

Cooking them is a ritual too. Slice down the center, length wise. Make sure the frying pan is set with veggie oil. Put ‘em in and let ‘em sizzle until they’re brown or black depending on your taste. It's easy:

Pull out your first victim, and lay it down in the center of a tortilla like you’re changing a diaper. Mustard & green chile are optional, but seriously recommended. Wrap, eat, and repeat.

Now that’s a disgustingly good hot dog.

Tags: albuquerque, coronado, dog, food, hot, mexico, new

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Comment by Adelita on January 23, 2009 at 5:21am: These wieners, like fried baloney, are a Burque delicacy all right! Oh you just made me so happy that I'm not the only one who loves these! A giant thumbs up to you on this one Jeremy!

Comment by misterhinkydink on January 23, 2009 at 6:47am: Have you ever held one of those things under a blacklight?

Comment by Aunt Money on January 23, 2009 at 7:49am: Having grown up on Hebrew Nationals pretty exclusively, I had never seen a red hot dog before until my mid 20s when I lived in Taos. My friends invited me over for a barbecue and they had Coronados and when I saw them on the grill, I said "What are those"? They all laughed and laughed at me: "Juera, haven't you ever seen a hot dog before? They don't have hot dogs in New York, huh?"

Comment by Jay on January 23, 2009 at 8:30am: Just like Atrisqueño's mom, both my parents would only eat Coronado weiners. and I think Coronado also made bologna. I remember being a kid and getting home from school so hungry, then I'd put a Coronado on a skewer and blacken it over our gas stove. Yum! Thanks Jeremy for reminding me of that childhood delicacy.

Comment by FitzerMan on January 23, 2009 at 8:41am: Oh dear lord.

Comment by mombat on January 23, 2009 at 9:24am: These were such a treat when I was a kid. My parents were kinda granolas and they had a huge garden, grew thier own alfalfa sprouts and raised thier own meat. But my Dad would sometimes get these for parties. He also snuck in twinkies sometimes too.
Now when I see these in the store they totally scare me , but I remember them fondly.

Comment by Jezibel on January 23, 2009 at 9:59am: HAHAHAH oh, man! this brings back memories. My gramma used to boil them for us when we were kids. they's swell up and the skin would crack, so I would peel the skin off before I'd eat them. Believe me, It was quite the sight!

O_o

Comment by Ron Da Bomb on January 23, 2009 at 10:02am: anyone ever do a weenie roast over the kitchen stove? Weenie on a fork, turn up the gas flame and roast away!

Comment by psychomom on January 23, 2009 at 10:35am: We used to warm them in a little water. Once my brother convinced my cousin to drink the pink water left in the pan by telling him it was pink lemonade. We all got a good laugh at his expense. And the bologna turns into little bowls when fried, then add cooked rice.