The Two Whos on life's little things -- "The Single Mother’s Dance"

From the Two Whos

Yun’s kids were with their father’s family up in Taos skiing and left the single mother home alone for several days right after the New Year. Missing her kids has become part of the her life now. No matter what she is missing her kids.

On the bright side, she gets a lots done. After the kids were gone for three days, one late afternoon, Yun felt a bit hungry. She went downstairs to get some food. She ate the food while playing with the kittens and picking up the scattered toys. When she put the dish in the sink, to her amazement, there was only one plate, one bowl, and one cup in there. She was home most of the time besides an outing (not dating), a dance lessen, a trip to the mall and salon... With kids around, a load of dish washing would have been demanded by now...

“Wow, I do not generate much dishes when kids are not here.” she thought. “ I do not do much either besides work. That must be what people mean when they say you ‘not have a life’. I've got to get a life!”
“Wait a minute, what are the standards of ‘not having a life’ or having too much of a life.” She started to laugh with herself, “Can I be happy without having a life?” “Can I Have a life without being happy? Can I Be happy with having a life? Not being happy without having a life?” In her physicist self, she exhausted the four possible combinations of “life” and “happy” based on mathematical calculations! Cece is exhausted thinking of the combinations! LOL!
The life of a single mother has the rhythms of ups and downs, all the excitement and franticness of the one day when the kids are around, then the quiet and silence next when they are at their dad's house. Learning how to enjoy this dance between silence and self ...and motion and children is a life skill she has learned to develop.

Having or not having a life is a personal matter and a subjective assessment.... just like having joy or not having joy. Hopefully, we have the power to choose the life we enjoy no matter what the circumstances are.
Her happily married sister and mother of two is having a New Years resolution: “Party less, read more”. Yun decided to adopt the semi-opposite resolution : “Party more, read more” but with the intention to keep the dirty dish quotas low and the happy-o-meter high.

Be happy, because life never stops happening. What do you think?

“Bye for Now” from the Two Whos

Views: 7

Comment by Ben Moffett on February 14, 2010 at 7:51pm
I think this makes a lot of sense. I'm glad I happened to run across your blog tonight. When I read this I thought about the great black baseball pitcher, Satchel Paige, whose advise may fit in with the lifestyle you seem to favor. Satchel said: “Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.” Satchel also said, "Avoid fried meats, which angry up the blood." I think that fits it with your chicken soup story that I just read. Finally, he said: "Don't look back. Somebody might be gaining on you. I take this to mean, don't be concerned if others catch you; you are still moving ahead at a pace that suits you. Thanks for posting.
Comment by yun li on February 14, 2010 at 10:48pm
Ben, thank you again for sharing. Yes, flow, preferably in the zone. I love how Satchel uses the word angry in "angry up and blood." So vivid and poetic... Thanks again! If you like our blog, check www.thetwowhos.com. Love to have you visit.

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