The Fine Line of Metrosexuality

A month or so ago I saw a former employee of UPS on the channel 4 News who was entering a courthouse on charges of stealing items off of UPS trucks and reselling them. What drew me to the story was not his gumption but his eyebrows. They were so ridiculously PLUCKED and his arms were clearly shaved, it looked like he has a family member in beauty school trying to teach him what "looks hot".

He is not the only example, and I fear that a line has been crossed over metrosexuality. In my opinion metrosexuality is a corporate response to the professional look that goes beyond the business suit and tie. Men, in an effort to appear sensitive to women, have discovered that massage, mani/pedi's, waxing and even subtle touches of make-up have profound effects on self esteem, confidence, perception and (sadly) job competition. But only in large metropolitan areas. Metrosexuality is the millennial equivalent to the old seventies "controled" look.

But lately I've seen many MANY men, predominantly Hispanic/Latino/Mexican men, traditionally the epitome of classic machismo, now looking classically homosexual with dramatically plucked eyebrows and manscaped bodies. I was willing to accept metrosexuality's "clean" look with it's naturally plucked hair lines, trimmed chest hair (god forbid it tuft out of your shirt) and nair'd arms (for that youthful smooth look?) but this "penciled in" look on mi Raza brothers is too much to handle.

It was easy to accept the man who would shop for the matching pair of Prada Shoes to go with his Prada briefcase and belt. As a homosexual my self, I understand the desire, nay, the need to look your abso-fucking-lutely best if you're going to land that six-figure career at 40 years of age. What I'm ranting about are not those men. They are however, those men you will find driving the '72 Monte Carlo tricked out to bounce at the flick of a switch. They speak with a moch and dress in Dickies, wife beaters and tan work boots. You'll find them on Saturday's and Sunday's walking the pathway's of the NM Expo flea market, girlfriends inextricable from their arms but with matching eyebrows. I can't stand it I tell you! I want to grab these men and compassionately ask, "Who did this to you man?"

Really what I'd like to ask is, "What are you going to do when the fad passes and the hair begins to return thicker and coarser than it was before?" I would also like to ask if they themselves think that they look good? I suppose the validation is already there inextricably linked to their arms.